


Cursed

by ashtonfook



Category: Albus Dumbledore - Fandom, Harry Potter - Fandom, Lily Evans - Fandom, Lily Potter - Fandom, Minerva McGonagall - Fandom, Severus Snape - Fandom, Snily - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-13
Updated: 2013-12-13
Packaged: 2018-01-04 13:08:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1081380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashtonfook/pseuds/ashtonfook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus Snape is struggling with Dumbledore's curse due to him hunting horcruxes. It is inevitable that he will die, but Albus asks too much of Snape and pushes him to the edge. While Snape angrily trashes his office, he comes across his old journal he kept during his years at Hogwarts and some time before. Precisely, when he met Lily Evans. He wrote of her every day and all of their adventures. We now get to see how the story unfolded.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

'"He didn't specify what he required you for, he simply said that you are to report to his office as soon as possible."  
"Thank you Minerva. I'll be on my way immediately. He didn't mention anything about his situation at all?"  
"No, I'm afraid not. He only told me that it was urgent and that he wished to talk to you and you only."  
"Right. Well, I'll be on my way then."

As I started to walk towards Albus' office to find who-knows-what, Minerva called at me and said "Severus. Do you happen to know what this might be about?"

Do I know what this might be about? What Albus has had me monitoring for the past couple of months? What I have had to keep secret from everyone I know? What keeps me up at night and prevents me from focusing on everyday mundane tasks? What has come to ruin my life, slowly, but surely?

"No Idea." 

With that, she gave me a nod then eyed me curiously for about 10 seconds before she turned and disappeared behind the curve of the hallway. After I saw that she had gone, I started walking towards the headmaster's office once again, only this time, I quickened my pace. I'm used to being called by him at all times of day and night by now, but it has always been in secret. He has never asked someone else to deliver news to me or to beckon me to his office. This worried me beyond belief, and as my palms quickly moistened, I began to see the hypogriff statue up ahead.

What could have happened that he was left with no other choice but to use a messenger? Was he not able to cast a patronus like usual? Did he somehow lose his wand? Is this some sort of trap and am I just mindlessly walking to my death without hesitation?

As I try to come up with answers to my many questions, I find myself face-to-face with the towering hypogriff. 

"Sherbert Lemon."

The  hypogriff began spinning to unveil a staircase. I would usually climb the steps normally, but I now find myself taking 3 at a time. This is different from all the other times and I know it. As I reach the door, I fumble with the knob as my hands are so sweaty. What was only seconds seemed like centuries as I finally managed to successfully twist the door knob. I kept the door ajar for a second of hesitation, then thrust it open forcefully.

I look around the room before my eyes fall on Albus at his desk. Well, it is definitely not a trap. But, he seems to look the same as always. Of course, that is not the best condition to be in, but this is certainly no different than any other time. He is conscious and breathing and staring right back at me over those half-moon spectacles. 

Then, I begin to question the situation when I am now standing at his desk and he has yet to say anything. If this was such an emergency, why does he not tell me what has happened. Albus is not the man to make a fuss, but he is surely not one to stay quiet either. After a minute or two more of just blank stares and heavy sighs, his face changes. He looks, not sad, but empathetic. Like if something were happening to me and not to him. 

I still have no clue what that means, but he makes a quick glance, so quick that if his spectacles were to have a glare I would not have caught it, at his right hand. Well, I guess this is just the regular routine. But why does he seem so hesitant about the whole situation?

I cautiously reach over the desk and, meeting his eyes for assurance, push up his satin sleeve.

"Oh, bloody hell."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

I looked down at what was supposed to be Albus' hand to find a horrific scene. It had gotten worse. It had gotten worse and I let it happen. 

"Albus, since when has it been like this?. Why didn't you tell me sooner? Did you go out to look for them again?"

"Severus, please calm down. The situation is not good, but it was inevitable. The curse takes effect quickly and gets worse everyday. I knew what I had gotten into when I started the search for them. But really, this is of little consequence for what we are trying to achieve here."

"Of little consequence? Your life is not of little consequence, headmaster. There are people relying on you in this world. The professors and students of this school, potter, his friends, Rubeus… me."

I quickly look away and hide my face beneath my hair. I'm so angry with myself. I let this happen. I let him go out and do this. And now I'm suffering for it. Then he taps my shoulder as a cue for me to turn around, so I do.

"Severus, I know you have your own self doubts. I know that I have guided you in these past years. However, I assure you that your existence does not require me."

"I'm sorry headmaster, but you don't understand. When I was in a dark place and no one wanted me, you took me in. You have trusted me so much so that you continue to let me work with the group of people that dragged me down the wrong path in the first place, simply to gather information." I said with tears welling up in my eyes.

"And I do it without hesitation. Severus, you know how much I trust you. I would trust you with my life. In fact, I called you over here precis-."

"But why do you trust me Albus? Why? What could I possibly have done to earn that?"

"I don't know exactly. You know, there are many people in my life that are on the wizarding council, have a clean record, have a nice home and family, a career, and uncountable amounts of honorary wizard titles. Yet, I trust you. And if that is the case, then there must be a reason. I'm just not quite sure what it is yet."

"This is all just very hard for me sir. I mean, you are the only person I've known in my existence that has ever given me the slightest ounce of trust and respect. Well you, and one other. But that was a different time." 

I lift my hand up and wipe a tear running down my cheek. Albus is the only person I have cried in front of. The only living person, anyway.

"You've been thinking about her a lot more, haven't you, Severus?"

"It's extremely difficult not to. All that is happening now just reminds me of how he ended her. I thought that was done with but now he's back and he's doing the same to others. I can only imagine how many people he has put in my position."

We stand quietly for a while. I didn't mind it at all, really. I just used the time to arrange my thoughts in a way that made sense to me, and Albus let me. Once he saw my fists unclench, he broke the silence.

"Severus, there is a particular reason why I called you here."

I turn my head and give him a look under my furrowed eyebrows. If it wasn't his hand, then what was it? I flick a long strand of my hair out of my face with a single movement of my hand, and wait for him to say something else.

"As I said a moment ago, I would trust you with my life in a heartbeat. Well, I'm afraid that is what this has come down to."

"Headmaster, I'm not quite sure what you mean. What are you asking?"

"Severus, as hard as it may be for you to hear this, and it is quite hard for me to say as well, I need you to be the one who finishes me."

My eyes go wide as I stare at him from across the room. I didn't realize how far away from his desk I had moved until now. I inch my way closer to him and continue to study his face. Is he asking me what I think he is?

"I'm not quite sure I understand. Let me jus- let me just get this clear. You are asking me to… kill you? Is that what you are saying, headmaster?"

"Precisely."

I go from confused to angry in a matter of seconds and start making my way towards the door. I kick down a chair in anger on my way there, but as I touch the golden knob he calls behind me.

"Severus, at least let me explain."

I hesitantly turn my head towards him, but I keep my hand on the door. Once this is all over I want to get away as quickly as possible. I can barely stand to be in the room anymore as it is.

"Severus, I told you of the Malfoy boy's plan to kill me, or should I say, Lucius' plan. Well, we know he won't do it. The boy is far too confused and scared to do anything. Frankly, I feel sorry for him, being in this situation and all. However, I believe that you can do it instead. Severus, you must understand. Once I'm gone, someone needs to be getting close to Tom. He already trusts you, but if you do him a deed like this you will be standing at his side. You need to be the one who is there to guide Harry when the time comes for him to end it."

I don't know what to say so I stay quiet. Of course it makes sense. I kill my best friend so that I can get closer to my worst enemy. It's as clear as a phoenix's tears. It makes so much sense, yet makes no sense at all. I grow tired of the silence and speak.

"I just don't understand how you could ask me to do this, headmaster. It is hard enough to know that you will soon be gone. I don't want it to be on my shoulders everyday that I'm the one who did it. It simply isn't right."

"But Severus, you had nothing to do with it. The curse will kill me eventually. Evidently, you're quickening the process. I expect by the time that it has to be done I will already be in so much pain that you are actually putting me out of my misery. Think of it as if you are taking away all that hurts and worries me so that I may finally sleep peacefully."

I think over what he just said, and though I hate to say it, everything is starting to make more sense. I suppose it would be best. After all, I would rather me killing him with thoughts of letting him sleep than someone else killing him with thoughts of feeding him to Nagini as a snack. It must be I who does it.

"Albus."

"Yes, Severus?"

"If I am to do this, when would it be?"

"At the rate the curse is spreading and from what you have told me of his plans, I expect in just a few days."

I think I just felt my heart drop to my toes.

"I- I understand headmaster. After all, I suppose erm- I suppose it is better this way after all."

We have a few minutes of silence of me staring at the ground and him staring at me. I think we were both just taking it all in. He is such a strong man and never shows how he feels for my sake, but I can tell this is just as heart-breaking for him as it is for me.

"Severus."

"Yes, headmaster?"

"Thank you."

With that I give him a slight nod, and he stares at me one last time over those half-moon spectacles and gives me an empathetic, crooked smile.

I start to leave, and as I exit his office I shut the door behind me and rest against it as I let yet another tear fall down my cheek. This time I don't wipe it off for a while, because this time I am alone, and it is all right to cry. Just as he tries to be brave for me, I attempt to do the same for him.

I reach the bottom of the stairs and give one last glance to the stone hypogriff as it spins back into place. I stop in the middle of the hallway, look blankly ahead, and utter two words that are barely a whisper.

"Now what?"

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be updating once a week :)


End file.
